Friend

While Jesus was eating his last Passover meal with his disciples, he casually announced that one of them would betray him. 

I imagine you could have heard a pin drop when he said it. According to Matthew 26, the disciples were “exceeding sorrowful.” No doubt. This was unthinkable.

Then it says “every one of them”—all twelve—began to ask him “Lord, is it I?”

I’ve always thought the point here was that none of them knew which one it was. It could have been any one of them. They all seemed so good from the outside. They didn’t know it was Judas. He was so good at faking his devotion to Jesus that no one knew he was the betrayer. In their eyes, they were all equal—equally good and equally flawed. So they asked:

Lord, is it I? Who is it? Just like they wanted to know who was the greatest among them and whether they would get to sit on Jesus’ right and left hands in heaven, they wanted to know who the bad apple among them was, and they had no clue.

But now I think it’s more important to note that these men who’d followed Jesus for three years and been his closest companions and allies and defenders, and spent three years listening to him and being in his very presence and witnessing his miracles firsthand did not know for sure, in their own hearts, whether THEY would betray him. 

Lord, is it I? Am I the one? Am I the betrayer? Am I that good at faking my devotion? Am I so able to hide in a group of Christ-followers that no one knows I am the betrayer? Is it I?

God forbid. I say I would never, but my life hasn’t been hard—not like theirs was about to be. I’ve never feared for my life because of my association with Jesus and that’s the situation they faced.

Then when the chief priests and elders came to take him, Judas kissed Jesus, the sign that would show them who he was, and Jesus said the most amazing thing to Judas, the betrayer:

“Friend, wherefore art thou come?”

This was 100% a rhetorical question. Jesus knew exactly why Judas was there. But that’s not the amazing part. 

Jesus used the opportunity to call Judas “friend.”

Friend. 

Knowing that Judas was handing him over to those who were going to crucify him, knowing Judas was getting paid for it and that he’d done it willingly, knowing even that the method was Judas’ idea, Jesus still called him friend. I can’t fathom that.

Judas gets a bad rap, and rightfully so. He will go down in history as the one who betrayed Jesus. But keep reading. 

Once Jesus was a captive in the priests’ and elders’ hands, “all the disciples forsook him, and fled.”

All of them. Every one of them who had just been asking, “Lord, is it I?” 

None of them thought they were capable of turning their back on the Lord. Peter declared that even if everyone else denied Jesus, he would not. Each one was horrified by the thought of deserting the Lord. None of them intended to or wanted to. But in the heat of the moment, they ALL did. Every single one. Peter followed for a while just to see what would happen to him, but when he was questioned, he denied Jesus too—three times.

Aside from being the one betrayer, should the disciples get the same bad rap Judas got? Maybe, but my guess is Jesus would call them friend too.

Judas, the betrayer: friend.

Eleven apostles, deserters: also friends.

So what’s my takeaway?

I am fascinated that no matter who I am, Jesus calls me friend. On my best days and my worst days, friend. He knows everything about me and loves me anyway. Friend.

It makes me want to ensure I am not the betrayer or the one who forsakes Jesus when times get hard. But how do I do that?

I stay as close as I can. I read his words. I listen more than I speak. I ask questions and wait for his answers. I remember that my ability to be the friend he calls me comes from him.

I work at building a bank account of faith, storing up little nuggets of God’s faithfulness to get me through hard times, should they come. When it seems easier to flee, I want to be able to look back and say, you know what? God was faithful there, and there, and there. I don’t see a time in my life when he wasn’t faithful and good, so I know I can trust him to still be those things, no matter what my circumstances look like.

I keep a notebook that lists every verse that describes God’s character so I know exactly who he is, and I keep adding to it. It helps me remember he is merciful and gracious, of great compassion, just, the same yesterday, today, and forever. It’s a big notebook; he’s a big God.

A man that hath friends must show himself friendly, and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24)

I want to be the friend who sticks closer than a brother. That’s the kind of friend Jesus has always been, and it makes me want to be that friend too.