These are the days
If I’ve learned one important lesson through all of the learning about trauma and “healing,” it’s to be present in the moment instead of getting caught on the thought roller coaster. That can be a wild ride if you’re stuck on it, and not one I’m a fan of. For those of us who have a constant stream of narration going through our minds every waking minute, it takes a huge effort to jump off and get our feet on solid ground.
I read this recently:
Your brain doesn’t believe what’s true. It believes what you repeat.
And that reminded me of how hard it is to jump off the thought train and make sure I am grounded in reality. It also reminded me of the Lord’s admonition to think on things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, and of good report. God knows the power of a thought locomotive and he tells us how to counteract it. That doesn’t mean it’s easy, just that he knows the struggle and gives us tools to help with it.
I’ve talked before about a little grounding habit I like to use: the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise. Stop where you are and name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can feel, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. This is so powerful that simply popping a strong mint in your mouth can help bring you out of a panic attack if you are aware enough to find a mint in the moment.
This new habit, the one Emily P. Freeman calls These Are the Days . . ., is like that one, only it takes place over a few days or weeks. You just notice what your current days seem to be full of, and that helps keep you paying attention to your actual life so you don’t get caught up in thoughts that are not true.
For me right now, these are the days of being a sad chick owner. I won’t re-tell the story of the four chicks I am raising (you can read it here in case you missed it), but it’s not turning out the way I’d hoped. It’s the price you pay for buying ultra-rare premium chicks at Tractor Supply.
The chicks are now almost 12 weeks old. They were moved to their outside coop a few weeks ago, but still separate from the big girls until they are old enough to defend themselves in the pecking order.
Then last week one day I went out and one of the Buff Brahmas (Bitsy) was just sitting in the shavings, not running around excited about the scratch grains I give them every morning. I held out a few kernels to her and she pecked them out of my hand, but still didn’t move. I picked her up to see if she was injured and it didn’t appear she was, but she wasn’t moving her legs.
Long story shortened, we couldn’t find anything wrong with her other than the obvious paralysis of her legs that spread to include her wings. All indicators point to Marek’s disease, a sickness that affects chickens and causes paralysis. She’s been in chick hospital since then and I keep putting food and water in front of her, which she takes almost like normal. We’ve had to wash her back end every day since she can’t move out of her own poop.
After doing a lot of reading about the disease and talking to our farm vet, Bitsy has been sent over the bridge to chicky heaven. I’m thankful for a husband who is willing to put a chicken out of her misery for me and do it kindly, if there is such a thing. RIP, Bitsy. You were a beautiful bird.
Now we have to decide what to do with the other three chicks, who have surely been infected. Do we spend $250 per bird getting them tested? Do we call them a loss? Lesson learned: get your chicks vaccinated from a good hatchery. Sometimes farm life stinks.
These are also the days of crisp fall walks under blue skies with leaves crunching underfoot. I love these so much more than the sweltering ones of summer and I am reminded of Tara Dickson, who always says to “lift up your eyes.”
I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. (Ps. 121:1)
Even on the saddest days, in the most trying of times, there is beauty all around us.
These are the days of technology hiccups, and surely those are my least favorite things on earth. One day you log in to Substack and everything is as it should be. The next day, you get a landing page that says “Launching Soon!” and it takes a few minutes for your brain to comprehend that something is not right. Eventually you trace it all back to GoDaddy and realize you have to reestablish your custom domain with Substack and that is a whole thing that maybe I will tackle tomorrow when the stress of sick chickens is a tiny bit lower.
These are the days of So. Much. Milk. that we are driving around blessing the whole church with it, thank you, Sweetheart (the cow). On Sundays when jars are returned I come home with bags and boxes of them ready to be filled again. Have you ever had raw milk? You don’t know what you are missing.
These are the days of remembering to look at where my feet are planted and what is arching over me. I am alive on this beautiful earth that is full of loveliness and heartache, joy and sickness, gain and loss.
But we can always know that no matter what happens, we are right here and Jesus is with us.
The Lord of hosts is with us. (Ps. 46:7)
Greetings from Grace & Space! Great minds (or kindred spirits!) think alike. So fun to meet you today.