I had a "Batman" encounter almost 30 years ago. I was waiting for a ride outside the Barnes and Noble, where I worked, in Freehold and it was around midnight. The parking lot was almost empty at this point and I was getting a bit scared. I'm approached by this big biker . Burly guy with a beard, dressed in chains and leather, on a Harley, a prototypical Hell's Angel. A Barnes and Noble employee, as I was ,I was not immune from judging a book buy its cover. "This man is going to stab me", I thought. Instead, he asked me if I needed any help and gave my change to use the payphone to call my ride, my then girlfriend, now wife, that fell asleep and left me stranded. He told me he was called Batman, and what it stood for. I never forgot it. Not a Hell's Angel, it turned out, just an Angel.
No, there is no time in our amygdala where the trauma memories are stored. They live on in the present as though the event is happening right now (hence the name "post" traumatic syndrome). It makes it tough to navigate reality when triggers put you back into that situation. Having lived through it for years and similarly fought to heal for years, my heart goes out to you, Karen. Just remember that any step, even the tiniest of baby steps, is movement forward. And that every day, every moment is new. It's just one choice away.
So we have the choice to use techniques to ground ourselves back to reality in that moment of terror, and to remind ourselves that we are safe, it's not happening now, we are not in danger, we are safe. It can be tedious, but it's nonetheless necessary and does work. EMDR has been a godsend to me as well. A mental health nurse recently told me it's the only known therapy that actually changes the brain. It's set me free in several areas. :)
I had a "Batman" encounter almost 30 years ago. I was waiting for a ride outside the Barnes and Noble, where I worked, in Freehold and it was around midnight. The parking lot was almost empty at this point and I was getting a bit scared. I'm approached by this big biker . Burly guy with a beard, dressed in chains and leather, on a Harley, a prototypical Hell's Angel. A Barnes and Noble employee, as I was ,I was not immune from judging a book buy its cover. "This man is going to stab me", I thought. Instead, he asked me if I needed any help and gave my change to use the payphone to call my ride, my then girlfriend, now wife, that fell asleep and left me stranded. He told me he was called Batman, and what it stood for. I never forgot it. Not a Hell's Angel, it turned out, just an Angel.
I wonder if it was the same guy?
No, there is no time in our amygdala where the trauma memories are stored. They live on in the present as though the event is happening right now (hence the name "post" traumatic syndrome). It makes it tough to navigate reality when triggers put you back into that situation. Having lived through it for years and similarly fought to heal for years, my heart goes out to you, Karen. Just remember that any step, even the tiniest of baby steps, is movement forward. And that every day, every moment is new. It's just one choice away.
So we have the choice to use techniques to ground ourselves back to reality in that moment of terror, and to remind ourselves that we are safe, it's not happening now, we are not in danger, we are safe. It can be tedious, but it's nonetheless necessary and does work. EMDR has been a godsend to me as well. A mental health nurse recently told me it's the only known therapy that actually changes the brain. It's set me free in several areas. :)
God bless you and your journey, Karen!
In addition to the desperation you felt, it also took courage to enter therapy and to go where that path leads. You go, girl! ❤️