My animal self
the one where I call myself a snake
What animal would you be if you could be any one you wanted? This sounds like an essay topic for fifth-grade boys, but after reading World of Wonders: In Praise of Fireflies, Whale Sharks, and Other Astonishments by Aimee Nezhukumatathil, I can’t stop thinking about. Hers is a beautiful weaving of one woman’s life experiences with a handful of natural mysteries.
What animal would you be? Here are the first two that popped into my head.
A snake
The other day my brother and I were talking about this topic and I mentioned the snake I spotted on a hike one day. It was lying in the grass on its back, belly-up. I decided since it was obviously dead I would get a good look and a photo or two. I love identifying wildlife when I’m out in the middle of it. I always want to know. But since I’ve never been good with snakes, I sent a photo to my brother, who is a biologist, and asked for help. (This is not my actual photo.)
He replied that it was an eastern hognose snake and it was probably not dead, just playing dead.
Excuse me? I took a step or two back from my herpetological specimen and gained new respect and admiration for the little guy. Wouldn’t it be nice to occasionally just flop over, let your tongue hang out, and have everyone pass you by without bothering you? What peace. What lovely escape. No expectations, no worries, just everyone taking a wide berth. Such a useful skill.
And now that I’m thinking about it, this is the epitome of enneagram 9s: the desire for peace, to not be affected by any kind of stress, even the stress that comes from our own selves. To roll over and play dead, hiding ourselves from everything that’s outside our tiny window of tolerance.
Yes, I’m definitely a snake.
A bird
I inherited my love of birds from my grandmother, who used to sit in the club chair by the dining room window and watch the birds come to the farmhouse feeder my grandfather built. She could identify them all, and she narrated the conversations she imagined them having while they jostled for position and the best seeds.
My parents have followed in her footsteps, going so far as to keep a notebook that lists all the species of birds they’ve ever seen in the wild. (My mother is a serial list-maker.) Since they’ve traveled all over the country, they’ve seen a lot.
When we began building our house in the country, I was excited to see a bird I’d never seen before, an indigo bunting. You can’t even believe how blue these birds are, and the first one I saw was dead on the road so I got a good, up-close look. Their feathers are iridescent, like mother of pearl but such a vibrant blue. Apparently they’re not smart enough to fly into a car.
Anyway, I’ve learned to identify a few different birds, some even by their sound. I can tell when a pileated woodpecker is around. You rarely see them, but they make a distinctive kak-kak-kak that lets you know they are near.
But if I could be one bird, it would be a bluebird. The male is bright blue with rust on his chest, but the female is duller, almost gray on her back with just a little blue in her tail feathers and duller rust on her chest.
I would definitely be a female because here’s how their life goes: the male finds what he thinks is a suitable place for a nest and he sits near it and calls her. She checks it out and decides whether or not she wants to build there. If she approves, she gets to work nesting while hubby sits on a branch nearby and sings to her. Isn’t that romantic? He sings a soft, burbling, sweet song the whole time she is working.
Then when it’s time to lay eggs, he stands guard nearby where he can keep an eye on the nest. He flies off and brings her food while she cares for the eggs, supporting her while she gets to be a full-time, stay-at-home mom. Once the babies hatch, it takes both parents to find bugs and worms to keep themselves and the babes fed, but the daddy is completely committed to her role as a full-time mom, and wouldn’t it be great if all humans were like that too? Family first. Cherish your wife. Marriages would last longer. I was privileged to be supported like this, and I am so thankful for it.
So how about you? What’s your spirit animal?