I had the opportunity to speak to a group of young moms a few weeks ago. This kind of thing always fills me with fear and trepidation because I feel like moms today are so much more aware and “with it” than I was at that stage of life. Or maybe all of us are just flying by the seat of our pants.
My assignment was to share something encouraging but also useful. I’m not completely sure I fulfilled the task, but here’s basically what I said.
Momming takes three basic things: work, prayer, and care. Without any one of them, you’re sunk from the word go.
Work
I distinctly remember sitting on the bed in my house in Atoka, Tennessee, as a mom of four (8, 6, 4, and 3) and big-as-a-barn pregnant with #5, reading my Bible one morning. There was no candle, no journal, no comfy chair. Only a few minutes after the husband left for work and children ate breakfast but before anyone realized they neeeeded me for something/anything.
In those days I spent a lot of time in Psalms and Proverbs, desperately grasping for any nugget that might help me through the busy days. This day I was reading Proverbs 14 and when I came to verse 23 I stopped short:
In all labour there is profit . . .
And in that instant, these six words became my life verse.
Mountains of laundry, day after day, matching thousands of tiny socks and always lacking a few? Profit. So many dishes my hands were dry and cracked? Profit. More snacks (why must they always be eating)? Profit. Literal thousands of diapers? Profit. Wiping runny noses and nasty bottoms and potty training and vacuuming up red clay dirt and cleaning jelly handprints off the glass door and breaking up another fight over the favorite toy and why are there chickens in the house?
All profit—a return that exceeds what you invest. I don’t know that any one verse has ever come at such a needed time in my life. It did not change the work—the labor—but it changed the way I looked at it and what a gift that was from the Lord.
Mamas, remember that “in all labour there is profit.”
Prayer
Have you ever read 1 Thessalonians 5:17
Pray without ceasing.
and wondered, What on earth? How am I supposed to do that with everything else I have going on? I can barely remember to shower!
Been there, done that (although I’m pretty sure I never forgot to bathe—I’m a little pedantic about that).
In another lightbulb moment in the midst of full-on motherhood, I realized I don’t have to have a prayer closet like all the old preachers talk about. (In fact, the old preachers have never been a mother, so what do they know?) I don’t even have to have a prayer time if that doesn’t work right now.
What I do need to have is an attitude of prayer so I can pray for whatever pops into my head at any given moment. That means if I lose it (hypothetically) and yell at a kid, I’d better make it right quickly. If I get frustrated and “lose my temper” when the printer messes up again (why is technology the #1 stumblingblock of my life?), I’d better confess it and get myself back in fellowship with the One who I desperately need to help me through this life.
Praying without ceasing doesn’t mean I never stop speaking to God during my waking hours. He knows I have stuff to do—he gave me the stuff. It means I can call out to Jesus at any minute and he hears me. We are in a non-stop friendship, and he’s always there and I’m always here, even when I don’t know the words to say and the Spirit has to intercede for me. The phone line is always open and I can talk to him while I do dishes or fold laundry or change a nasty diaper. God is not particular about the surroundings.
Mamas, remember to “pray without ceasing.”
Care
I will tell you on the front end this idea is not original. A few days before my little talk, I read this post by my very wise friend Kelsie, who is a mom of six and a missionary (with her husband) in Ukraine. If ever a mom needed to walk closely with God, it’s Kelsie.
I knew I needed to include the idea of care but I didn’t want to quote Kelsie’s whole essay, so I used a snippet. Kelsie wrote:
Care is exhaustingly hard. It involves cleaning up messes, encountering unpleasant smells, giving of energy and resources, laying aside one’s own needs and preferences, losing sleep, and dedicating inordinate amounts of time.
And if that weren’t hard enough, it’s often unseen and unappreciated.
It’s humility at its finest; not many people gravitate toward it.
I went on to share these thoughts (paraphrased from Kelsie’s essay, which you should totally go read in full):
Paul lamented in Philippians 2 because he couldn’t find more caregivers. He was talking about caregivers for the body of Christ, but I think we can make application here as caregivers for our families.
He says in verses 20 and 21:
For I have no man likeminded [to Timothy], who will naturally care for your state. For all seek their own, not the things which are Jesus Christ’s.
. . . I have no man . . . who will naturally care for your state,
For all seek their own, not the things which are Jesus Christ’s.
Caring for the believers’ state = Caring for the things which are Jesus Christ’s.
God equates care with seeking the things of Jesus Christ.
So when you care for your husband and children, you are doing the holy work of Jesus.
Have you ever heard a woman say she was “just a housewife” or “just a mom”? I’m not of the opinion that being a mom is the highest calling a woman can have—where does that leave women who can’t have children? But there is no such thing as “just a . . .” anything. Your calling is your calling, whatever that is, and it’s from the Lord right now. It is your holy work.
When Elijah was about 3 years old, he came in my room in the middle of the night and said quietly, “Mama, I don’t feel good” and then before I could open my eyes he threw up spaghetti all over my bed, down the side, and in the ’70s shag carpet. In that moment, I did not feel like I was doing holy work. I did not feel spiritual while I was stripping the bed, bathing the child, and picking half-digested spaghetti bits out of the carpet.
Yet as I cared for him, I was doing the work of Christ. I was raising a little boy who would one day grow up to love the Lord, to use his musical talents to bless whole congregations, and to preach the Word of God. I didn’t know at the time that he would marry a wonderful woman and have five beautiful children and be an example to other young families and an encouragement to older ones. All I knew was that I had a lot of bedding to wash at 2 in the morning and I might need new carpet.
Mamas, remember that in caring for your family, you are doing holy work. You have no idea who you are raising, and how they will grow up to bless God and others. You are directly serving the Lord.
Colossians 3:
17 And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.
23 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;
24 Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.
In “whatsoever ye do,” “ye serve the Lord.”