MEPS
I keep notes in my phone. Do you do that? My memory is so bad I can’t remember a single thing unless I write it down, and even then I often forget to look at what I’ve written. It’s a struggle that I would love to blame on trauma but is more likely just due to my age.
Every writer knows that when you have an idea, you must write it down immediately. Ideas are like nervous moths: they dodge and dart through your brain so fast you can’t tell where they went and you’ll never find them again until your favorite sweater has a big hole in it. I’ve been known to pull the car over so I can type a quick note about an idea before I forget it.
But also, I am a purger, a minimalist, a throw-away-er. I can’t stand excess stuff; it feels like weight I’m dragging around. Since we’ve just begun sifting through my parents’ house, we’ve found an astounding amount of specific things: bottles of rubbing alcohol, boxes of bandaids (so many), rolls of paper towels. Even a case of champagne in the closet. They were well stocked for both injury and celebration.
But back to the notes: I can’t stand having hundreds of notes and not organizing the information in them. Every so often I scroll through them all and see if there’s a theme. If there is, I transfer them all to one note and try to form a single coherent point out of them, kind of a memo defrag. If not, I decide whether the idea is worth keeping or not. Here’s one I came across this morning that deserves comment. It was titled
MEPS
Humans are complex creatures. That’s not much of a hook, but give me a minute.
We are mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual (MEPS) beings, all of those parts equally important. We cannot neglect one for the others, neither can we focus solely on one and forget the others. They are intricately interwoven, and all are necessary to be a complete, healthy person. Like a plate of spaghetti, the parts cannot be separated. What affects one part necessarily affects the others. I think I instinctively knew this, but I first heard it explained on The Healing Trauma podcast with Monique Koven.
I don’t know a lot about other cultures, but in the modern West, we screw this concept up over and over. When we are sick and go to a doctor, he/she looks at the physical body and rarely (if ever) asks about our mental, emotional, or spiritual health. When we are struggling with our mental health, there are usually physical and emotional and spiritual symptoms that we try to ignore while we deal with this one thing. You just can’t cut up a whole person into distinct, separate parts that don’t affect one other.
This concept is most evident (to me, at least) when a person has a mental health crisis and seeks help within a faith community. That person is typically given spiritual advice by a professional who specializes in spiritual things, but then the physical, emotional, and mental parts of that person are ignored. It’s like calling an electrician to fix a plumbing problem.
It’s not that the spiritual professional doesn’t know anything, it’s that he doesn’t know enough. He can deal with the spiritual part of a person, but not the physical, mental, and emotional parts. It’s like asking the pastor to cure your cancer. He knows lots of good things about the spiritual part of the situation, but very little about the physical part.
Do you see how this doesn’t make sense?
LPC, LMFT
This is why I strongly encourage you to seek a licensed professional counselor (LPC) or a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) for mental health help. An LPC and an LMFT are trained in how to help with mental health difficulties. They are also educated in how mental health is related to emotions and how various mental health disorders present in the physical body, because there are always physical symptoms. And if you want to tend to your whole person, find an LPC or LMFT who agrees with your spiritual beliefs.
It is so important to address all the parts of you when you look for help. The person you choose should have those letters after their name.
Chances are about 99% that your pastor does not have them. He is likely a biblical counselor who can be helpful, but biblical counseling only addresses the spiritual part of you. He is not trained to deal with the physical or emotional manifestations of mental health struggles.
Both/and
Now, before you starting coming at me in the comments, please understand that I am a solid Christian. My pastor is a great man who is great at being a pastor and probably also great at biblical counseling. That is his area of expertise, and if I had a spiritual question, I would feel confident seeking his counsel. But he is not qualified to help me with the effects of the traumas I have experienced in life, and they are many. My difficulties are not just spiritual in nature; they include all the parts of me.
I am spiritual. But I am also mental, emotional, and physical. I love Jesus AND I have a history of trauma. I love Jesus AND I have anxiety. I love Jesus AND I sometimes get triggered. I love Jesus AND I have panic attacks. These are not mutually exclusive. They coexist in one person, me. I have heard all the advice about casting my cares on him for he careth for me (1 Peter 5:7). I know that he gave us the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness (Isaiah 61:3). I know he is the lifter of my head, that my help comes from him, that I can trust in him, and that he walks with me through the valley (all the Psalms).
I know all these things AND I still struggle. It’s not because I don’t read my Bible. It’s not because I don’t pray and ask God to help or don’t have “enough faith,” whatever arbitrary amount that is. Sometimes I don’t even have words; all I have are sobs of distress and the knowledge that Jesus is up there sitting next to God interceding for me.
God did not spell out in his Word exactly what trauma does in a human brain, how the effects last a lifetime, and how the best you can do is learn to manage the whole mess. He did not give us a holy DSM (the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) to help us categorize just what our problems are.
But he did give all that knowledge to people who are way smarter than I am so that when I go to my therapist—who has spent a decade studying it all—she knows how to help me with the management part of it. There is no cure for the effects of trauma, but there is a lot of help available from people who have learned how to offer what we need.
It is common in Christian circles to try to address mental health from a strictly spiritual standpoint: pray, read the Bible, memorize verses, conjure up more faith. If you have done all those things and you are no better, it is a good indication your problem is more than just spiritual. Please know the difference and seek help from someone who is qualified to address all the parts of you: mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual.
Would you like to know how to find a therapist in your area? Here’s how I found mine:
Go to PsychologyToday.com, click “Find a Therapist,” and enter your zip code. There are hundreds listed in my area. I just started reading bios and narrowed my search by what they specialize in and whether or not they might be a Christian. I called a couple, then chose one and made an appointment. That’s it!
If you don’t “click” with the first one, try another. The most important thing in finding a therapist is feeling safe with that person so that you can be 100% honest with him or her.