Intrusive thoughts

Have you ever heard that the average human has around 70,000 thoughts per day? Let’s look at that: If you sleep 8 hours, you’re awake for 16. That’s 4,375 thoughts per hour, or 72.9 thoughts per minute. More than one full thought per second? I don't know about you, but my head would explode if my thoughts rotated that fast.

Turns out the 70,000 number came from somebody's blog. Always check your facts. Recent research claims we have around 6,000 thoughts per day, a much more reasonable number. Most of the time, our thoughts roll from one to the next seamlessly and without effort, like this: "It's such a nice day today. I should go outside at lunchtime and get some sun. Remember when Aunt Sue had a skin cancer removed from her nose? It's probably because she lived at the beach and never wore a hat. I hate hats; they make my hair have this weird crease. I need to wash my hair tonight—it's been three days." And on and on it goes. This is how our brains naturally function until something in our environment interrupts this stream of consciousness and derails our train of thought.

Then there are intrusive thoughts. Have you ever been driving down the highway and fleetingly wondered what would happen if your front tire blew out and you swerved into oncoming traffic? Or you ran into a telephone pole? Not that you would actually want it to happen, but the thought popped into your mind out of nowhere. You weren't contemplating suicide or anything, and you know what would actually happen, so why this thought? Where did it come from? It's kind of shocking when it happens.

According to Healthline.com, intrusive thoughts are "unexpected images or thoughts that seem to pop into your head. They’re often strange or distressing." Most people have them occasionally. The National Institute of Mental Health says intrusive thoughts are just one of the symptoms of PTSD. They are also common in postpartum depression, bipolar disorder, OCD, and some other mental health struggles. Being as normal as anyone else, I guess I've had a few intrusive thoughts in my life, but I don't remember paying attention to them. They obviously didn't make much of an impression on me. I would just think, "Well that was weird."

After my last accident though, I had a lot more and they were, for a time, pretty troublesome. The first time I ever heard of them was when a young lady I know had postpartum depression after the birth of her first child. While I was helping her for a few days, I did not recognize the symptoms, but later she told me she had the craziest thoughts. She felt the need to put all the sharp knives in a kitchen drawer and push them all the way to the back so they wouldn't fall on the baby—who was a newborn and would not be in the kitchen. That's an intrusive thought. It doesn't make sense to our rational mind, it's distressing, and it makes a forceful appearance in your usually-mild stream of consciousness.

Intrusive thoughts are not sought, nor are they willed to happen. They are not something you go looking for. If you are seriously considering harming yourself, that's a different thing entirely and I beg you to seek help. Intrusive thoughts just . . . happen. I've had some that relate to driving—no surprise there since I was hit head on while driving.

But after almost two years of processing the trauma, I am mostly not bothered by them anymore—except for one. It comes up now and then, and I can't seem to shake it. I'll be in the kitchen doing something at the stove, and an image of me dropping a pot of hot food on my dog suddenly hits me out of nowhere. I've never actually done that, and I've never even tripped over Hank in the kitchen, so where does this thought come from? It has nothing to do with driving or accidents or anything else I've ever experienced. It’s an intrusive thought—it intrudes on my otherwise normal thoughts.

But if I've learned one thing through all this, it's to notice progress and be thankful for it. In the beginning, right after the accident, I would have an intrusive thought and it would get me all worked up, like my brain was taking me in a direction I did not want to go. I told Ben more than once I felt like someone was in my head, controlling my brain and thinking for me and planting thoughts I did not want to have. It made me panic and I wondered if that's what being possessed felt like.

But as I progressed through therapy I had fewer and fewer intrusive thoughts. Now the only one I'm left with is the one with the hot food and the dog, and since I know what it is, I'm able to notice it and then let it pass right through my mind without stopping it and dwelling on it. Since I've learned this, I've had it less and less.

Here's the thing: intrusive thoughts are just thoughts, and just because you think something, doesn't make it true. That's the key thing for you to know. It's just a thought. I could think elephants are purple, but that doesn't make it true, right? A thought is not a truth. So if (when) you have an intrusive thought, remind yourself that it's just a thought. It's not something you need to act on. You don't need to stop it front and center and do anything with it. You can let it pass right through and laugh it off. It takes a little practice, but it can be done!

What does God say about thoughts?

While intrusive thoughts may make you feel like you don't have control of your mind, God gives us some help. First, he tells us what to think about:

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. (Phil. 4:8)

Then, he tells us how to get the thoughts we want to have:

Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established. (Prov. 16:3)

In other words, do the things that will help bring about the thoughts you want to have. You have more control of this area than you think! Listen to music that will create positive thoughts. Read books that minister to your mind. Spend time with people who are uplifting. Whatever negative input your have in your life, unfollow! Delete! Cancel! I regularly go through my following list on social media and delete accounts that are not a positive influence in my life. Try it! It's so freeing!

And finally:

. . . bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. (2 Cor. 10:5)

I'll say it again: thoughts are just thoughts. They may be in the car but they don't get to drive. You don't have to act on them or even pay attention to them. They are not always telling you the truth. When you have an unwanted thought, notice it, name it as what it is, then let it pass on through. Replace it with something better. When a negative one pops up, close your eyes (as long as you're not driving, ha!), and ask God to give you something better. He will! This would be a good place to have a short passage or verse memorized that will redirect your thought train. In moments like these, I remember Isaiah 26:3 . . .