Four things, episode 2
Apologies for missing my self-imposed deadline last Tuesday.
The honest truth? I forgot. Yes I did.
I also forgot about a church function I was supposed to be at Monday night. But I have an excuse.
Two Sundays ago I received an urgent project to edit that I was assured would be no big deal but turned out to be 40,000 words, which I would normally bid at 40 hours (1,000 words per hour, even though I almost always finish under that time). That’s an entire work week. While it has gone a bit quicker than that, 40,000 is still a lot of words, especially when they’re technical and contain enough acronyms to rival a military report. I am not going to read it through twice (which I always do when editing) and there are some formatting issues I’m not going to have time to fix, but that’s what you get when you ask your wife to edit a proposal on short notice. My only comfort is that most people won’t see the errors I do, so I think we’re safe.
Since my brain is a bowl of mush at the moment, I’m going to take the coward’s way out and tell you about four things. I did a search of my own site and found that I have used this escape method of writing exactly three times calling it Five Things, and once before as Four Things. So that makes this episode 2. You’re welcome.
1. Toward vs towards
Did you know that there are many differences in spelling conventions between American English and British English? You’ve probably seen colour vs color, stabilise vs stabilize, and and travelling vs traveling. But here’s one you may not have noticed: towards vs toward.
The British spell this word with an s on the end, presumably so they can sound a little more hoity-toity when saying it. Americans drop the s because ain’t nobody got time for that and we are all about efficient use of space around here (hence the single space after end-of-sentence punctuation, which is different from what you learned in typing class in the 1970s).
So next time you are writing and you decide to use that word, if you live in America or have a largely American audience, write toward without the ending s and your editor will thank you. Alfred too.
2. Achan, the man who got his family killed
You know, the guy who was part of the whole walls-falling-down-at-Jericho thing but ignored the memo from God that said everything in the city—EVERY SINGLE THING—was to be destroyed. Long story short: he saw a “goodly Babylonish garment” plus some silver and gold, snatched them up, and buried them under his tent so he wouldn’t get caught. But guess what . . . God knows.
Right after Jericho, Israel went to battle against Ai and got their patooties kicked. And God told Joshua to find out who had stolen the “accursed thing” from Jericho. God already knew, but he wanted all of Israel to know too.
I’ve read this story many times, but somehow this year it hit me a little differently. Joshua gradually narrowed the guilty party down, and in two different places, God gives us the names of Achan, his father, his grandfather, and his great-grandfather. Names them by name. Twice.
Achan confesses. Then Joshua says to him, “Why have you troubled Israel? Today the Lord will trouble you.” And all Israel took Achan and his sons and his daughters and all his animals and his tent and everything that pertained to him, and they stoned them all to death, then burned them with fire and piled a heap of stones on all the ash. Thats a lot of destruction for a garment and some money but God was serious about obedience.
But that’s not what struck me about this narrative I have read so many times. What I walked away with this year is twofold.
A few chapters after the fall of Jericho, in Joshua 22:20, God says this:
Did not Achan the son of Zerah commit a trespass in the accursed thing, and wrath fell on all the congregation of Israel? and that man perished not alone in his iniquity.
First, one man’s sin brought God’s wrath on all the congregation of Israel. The command to destroy everything in Jericho was to all of Israel, so when it was disobeyed, God’s wrath fell on them all. It’s a good idea to check in with your brothers and sisters. While you are not responsible for their actions, you could save a lot of people the heartache of one man’s sin.
But second, and I think more important, “that man perished not alone in his iniquity.” There is no sin that does not affect other people. No matter what it is or how “secret” you think it is, you are taking other people down with you just like Achan did. Your spouse, your children, even your animals and your tent. Everything that pertaineth unto you. You also leave a black mark on your ancestors. And be sure people will find out.
A sobering thought.
3. I bought a minivan.
I know, right? I am even surprised about this myself. I’ve known for months I was going to be in the market for a new (to me) car in the near future. My Highlander has almost 300,000 miles on it, and while it still runs great (long live Toyotas), I am a fan of not having to worry about something going wrong with my car on a long trip.
Last year I inherited my daddy’s Tacoma, which I was so excited to drive. I felt like he was with me all the time and I could talk to him while I was on the road, but alas, the suspension was so stiff my neck could not take it. I gave it to Ben and took my Highlander back.
I love my Highlander, so I figured I would just get a newer one, but I kept having this little niggling in the back of my mind that I should look at a minivan. My daughter with six children has one (also a Toyota) and she loves it. They have loads of room, a nice ride, and while I can’t go four-wheeling, I don’t do much of that anymore anyway.
So when it came time to look, I started at the local Toyota dealer where a kind young lady sat me down at her desk and started flipping through photos on her computer. (Newsflash: I can do that at home please stop wasting my time.) Then her more-experienced-salesperson buddy came out and tried to push me into driving a car that very day even though I had told them that’s not what I was there for, so I extricated myself from that pressureful (thank you, Anna, for that word) situation as quickly as I could, vowing never to go back.
A few months passed and I began the search again. This time I chose a dealer here in small-town, USA, where I saw a Toyota Sienna with only 35,000 miles on it. The salesman answered all my questions and let me walk out without even getting my name and phone number, so I figured I was safe from the usual haranguing. A few days later I went back and bought it, and here I am, a minivan-driving grandmother. What has become of me?
4. Mushroom compost
Did you know there was such a thing? I did not until I got in a local chat group and started begging for someone to help me fix my garden dirt. It’s a long saga of truckloads of what was called “garden compost mix” that turned out to be awfuller than awful and refused to grow a single vegetable (somehow the zinnias loved it though).
So many people sang the praises of mushroom compost so I bit the bullet and ordered six yards. What is a yard? I have no idea, but I was all in and wanted a lot.
When it was delivered the other day—a literal dumptruck load—I found out what it is and where it comes from. The delivery guy told me he gets it in semi-loads from Pennsylvania, where there are apparently lots of mushroom growers. He says they go through this whole process of making soil that is great for growing mushrooms (you can watch this on YouTube), and they use it until it is depleted of whatever it is that mushrooms need to be happy. Then they sell it because it is supposedly wonderful for vegetable and flower gardens. I hope he was telling the truth because my garden needs some serious help. Stay tuned for updates in six months.
Thank you for coming to my NED (non-essential drivel) talk.
A yard, more correctly a cubic yard, is a volume of measurement. Typically it is described as a cube that is 3' x 3' x 3', but as long as the volume is correct the measurements of each side don't matter.