Deconstruction

I’ve recently been reading the monthly posts on a new Substack I found called False Jesus, written by Kent Chevalier. Kent is a current NFL chaplain and former church pastor who writes to those of us who want to learn about Jesus for ourselves rather than just believe everything we’ve ever been taught by “the experts” or those who we think know more than we do. It’s for the people who are tired of listening to the (often denominational) party line without questioning it.

For the same reason toddlers don’t want to be spoon-fed anymore and insist on feeding themselves, sometimes we want more control over what goes into our selves—bodies and minds. We want to be able to filter the spinach from the chocolate.

I probably don’t agree with everything Chevalier says, but for those of us who have felt “stuck” believing whatever our current Christian circle teaches (we’re all in one, whether we know it or not), Kent encourages us to question those teachings and measure them against what God actually said in his own words and by the example of his own life here on earth.

Deconstruction, as it’s commonly termed, can be misunderstood. A lot of conservatives in my circle disapprove of the idea, but I think that’s because they are afraid of anyone who questions the status quo. Deconstruction is seen as a precursor to walking away from Jesus, and that is not at all what this is about, at least not for me.

Jesus is the one thing that remains constant in my life. He is always there, the same yesterday, today, and forever. He is the foundation of everything I think and do, and that will not change. If all of life falls apart, Jesus will still be there, the rock that holds me up. I am smart enough to know my desperate need for him and embrace his desperate love for me.

So a few years ago I started bringing my hard questions to God and letting him answer for himself, through his word, and you know what? He does not disappoint. He is not afraid of my questions and I am not afraid of his answers, even if I don’t understand the why behind them. I am cutting out the middleman, so to speak. It’s just me and Jesus, me and the Word. I may not be a Bible scholar, but I can read English and compare scripture with scripture. I am his and he is mine, and I believe wholeheartedly that he can speak to me and I can listen and learn, so that’s what I’m doing.

Mostly my process has looked like this: some random thing I’ve always believed comes to mind and I stop and ask, “Is that what the Bible actually says? Or is this someone’s opinion or preference or personal interpretation?” It’s not always easy to set aside your own pre-conceived ideas, and it’s often uncomfortable, but it’s necessary if you’re going to let God do the talking while you do the listening.

I’ve stopped reading the Bible as an act of obedience (not that that’s a bad reason), an item on a checklist, a plan to be gotten through in one year, and started reading it as if I’m in a new place, looking around, seeing things for the first time, paying attention to what is right in front of me and noticing what is not there, and meeting new people. What did God say? What did he not say? Who was he talking to? What does this say about his character? How should this information change me? What should I do in response to what this says? Have I believed wrongly about this? What examples are there in scripture for this topic?

What did God say? What did he not say?

It has been life-giving. I feel like I have lived through an earthquake and been trapped under tons of rubble for years, and now, little by little, the layers of debris are being lifted and I am being freed. I am gulping in fresh air after years of choking in a dust-filled cloud.

I am seeing the God of the Bible, not the one that’s been interpreted for me all my life through someone else’s lens. I am meeting the very human man Jesus and the Almighty God, the meek and lowly one, the Word who was made flesh and dwelt among us, the rest giver, the one who threw over tables in the temple and rubbed spit-mud on the blind man’s eyes and restored his sight. The one who wept over his friend. I am reading about the God who keeps every promise and also destroys his enemies with a single thought. The Father who will wipe every tear from our eyes in heaven and also judge the unrighteous. I am getting to know the Holy Spirit who both comforts and convicts.

I am overwhelmed with his goodness to me and his perfect love toward mankind.

You can know him too and you don’t have to wait for someone to tell you about him. You don’t need anyone to interpret God’s words for you. Pick up a Bible and begin reading in the book of John, the fourth book of the New Testament. John’s gospel tells about Jesus’ life on earth and it will introduce you to the man/God he was. You will learn why God came to earth as a baby and then lived a perfect, sinless, 33-year life among us. (Hint: it was for you and me.)

Don’t be pushed away by hypocritical people and power-hungry church leaders. Don’t give me a list of well-known “Christians” who have fallen publicly as your excuse to not know who Jesus was. They are not Jesus and they don’t represent him.

Open your Bible and let him speak for himself.