A little reflection
One of the things I’m learning lately (and by lately, I mean in the last few years) is to stop and reflect. It has been my habit-of-a-lifetime to plow through life with my head down, not paying attention to how things are going, what’s helping, and what is not. I’ve always had this mindset of just getting through whatever the latest thing is so I can check it off my list and be done with it. I might have a strong enneagram one wing. Can you relate?
Then I met Emily P. Freeman, who I’ve dubbed the “Queen of Reflection” (there’s a chance someone else came up with that first, but I never heard it before I said it). I started listening to her podcast and reading her book The Next Right Thing. Emily’s goal is to help us make decisions, but also make a life. Her desire is to “make room for your soul to breathe” and boy-howdy, do I need that.
One of the ways she encourages this is by teaching us to reflect. To stop and ask the questions that should be obvious but aren’t when we have our head down always pushing forward. So periodically I like to stop and sit with these questions or others like them and, as my therapist says, see what comes up.
What’s saving my life right now
This is a topic I’ve heard other people talk about, but it’s never really occurred to me that anything is actually “saving my life.” To me that sounds so much more dramatic than I actually am, and I prefer to steer clear of drama.
Until I get sick. Then I am the Sarah Bernhardt of 2023. I knew several weeks before the recent wedding that overtook our house that sickness was coming. Anytime you gather a hundred people from seven different states, some kind of virus is joining the party. It happens every time and I am just thankful nobody brought the dreaded C*vid because I’ve had more than my share of that, often finding it at large gatherings.
Thankfully, this is “just” a cold so I wasn’t too worried about it, at least not until the sore throat and headache wouldn’t go away after five solid days and were then joined by congestion and a bronchitis-like cough and almost losing my voice. Now I’m on day eleven and the plague shows no signs of abating.
I’m doing all the things I always do to fight a virus: high doses of vitamin C, lots of liquid, rest, mullein tea, and plenty of whining. The only one that seems to be doing any good is the mullein tea, so I’m it gets saving-my-life status.
Mullein is an herb that grows wild just about everywhere. We had it along the pasture fence line in Asheville, and everywhere that’s been cleared at our new house site is covered with it. It has big leaves that are thick and fuzzy, and one giant stalk grows straight up out of the middle that produces flowers later in the summer.
Mine is pretty dirty right now.
Mullein is super helpful for lung ailments of all kinds. We’ve used it every time we’ve had C*vid and it’s literally the only thing that has helped the cough. It also forces you to drink more liquid, and that’s always a good thing. Here’s how I make it:
Throw 3 big handfuls of dried, crushed mullein leaf in a 6-quart pot and fill with water. Bring to a boil, then turn off the heat and cover the pot. I like to let it sit overnight to get as strong as possible. In the morning, strain through coffee filters into half-gallon jars and refrigerate.
The straining part is important, because the little hairy things that make the leaves fuzzy are irritating to your throat. I’ve heard people say they just use a french press coffee maker, but I’ve never tried that. I always strain mine through coffee filters.
Mullein doesn’t taste the best, so sometimes I throw a peppermint tea bag in the pot. Sometimes we put a squirt of Stur (a water enhancer that does not have artificial sweeteners, colors, or flavors), or you can add a little honey.
Drink a quart a day (at least). It’s seriously saving my life right now.
What I’m reading right now
Richard Paul Evans books. I was introduced to this author by my sweet friend who shares my love of reading but knows there are times in life when you just need a little brain candy. I enjoy history and science and recently started a book by Thomas Sowell called The Einstein Syndrome my dad gave me, but then I got sick and nothing calls for comfort food and comfort reading like a good right-in-the-middle-of-pollen-season cold.
So far I’ve read three of Evans’ books: The Carousel, The Gift, and The Walk. His stories are compelling and clean and easy to read and perfect for two weeks of sickness. Next week I’ll get back to prepping the garden and painting doors, but right now I’m taking care of my sick self with rest and reading, and these books are perfect.
What I’m loving right now
Grandbabies. We have so very many and we are understandably thrilled with each one. Number 12 just arrived a few weeks earlier than expected, but he is healthy and perfect and we are so thankful. Nathaniel Zion:
I’m pretty sure he is the tiniest of all the grandbabies at 6 lbs 12 oz. My daughter says she keeps looking at him in awe, thinking, “I didn’t know they came this small!” and this being her sixth, she knows how big babies can be. I can’t wait to go kiss his sweet little cheeks.
What I’m struggling with right now
I have never wanted to be one of those people who is defined by only one thing. You know, the ones who only talk about one topic all the time, as if that’s their whole life. Yet the advice given to writers is to find your niche and stick with it, so your readers will always know what to expect.
While I understand this reasoning, I can’t seem to pigeonhole myself into one little corner of my life. What would I choose? Being a cowmom? Grammy? A Christian? A person who has been through trauma and is walking through the healing process?
I don’t want to be just one thing. I am not just one thing.
There’s a practice on Instagram called #Fridayintroductions, where the person tells you whatever they want you to know about them. If I were to do one of these posts, it would go something like this:
Hi, I’m Karen (but not a Karen). I’m a wife, a mom, and Grammy of 12 (so far). My husband and I raise grass-fed beef cattle on our little farm in Virginia. I love Jesus, hiking and being outdoors, any beach anywhere, writing, reading, singing, and talking about the enneagram. I am a trauma survivor walking out my own healing, and I want you to know it’s okay to be a Christian and go to therapy.
I don’t want to give up any of those things for the sake of just one. I don’t want to stop talking about all but one of them, so against all the professional advice I hear, I won’t pigeonhole myself into one thing.
Does that make me unpredictable? I guess, but I’m okay with that. So maybe I’m not really struggling with this as much as I think I am.
My favorite new thing
Hands-down it’s my 30 ounce Yeti mug. I had one just like it minus the handle and I’ve loved it for several years. It honest and truly does keep the ice in the drink all day in the summer, even in a hot car. These things are amazing.
But at 61, I’ve started to have a little arthritis in my hands and gripping this big cup was getting harder. So I got this one with a handle and I’m in love. It gets five stars.
This concludes our monthly reflection.
We have 30 days to be in our house before Ben’s shoulder surgery, so I may be sporadic in my posts for a few weeks. Also, we need a left-hand recliner before then. Are those even a thing? Let’s hope.